Friday, October 4th, 2002
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11:56 am - abandoning journal
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Tuesday, September 10th, 2002
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11:39 am - update!
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Living Environment: I gave notice. Then found out the place where I thought I was moving into is having some paperwork problems. Waiting on my current landlord for a piece of paper and the manager is on vacation. So, I wait till the end of the week to find out more information. Anyone have couches to crash on in October if I need one :)
Work: My manager wants to discuss about coming onboard full-time. I did some research on job rankings and pay scales to prepare for the discussion. The job is not what I want to be doing long term, but it is a job and will pay the bills for now. I have little faith that economics will get better for another year or so. Had a phone interviewed about a contract job in Delaware for three months. That interests me to go away someplace for three months and work. There are some logistical challenges to this.
Physical: Getting more sleep finally. New allergy medications appear to be working and alleviating my sleep sickness and other symptoms. Yaye! Blood sucker attacked the past week or so :/ Wanting to Osento and purify.
Emotional: Stressed, because of the uncertainty in many areas of my life! Enjoying not knowing and being open. Vaciliation between one mode and another. Needing gentleness, recipricocity(sp) and a little hand holding to walk through small, but intense challenges.
Psychically: Burning up old karma and creating new patterns. Finding softness, give and flow.
Social: Wanting to meet people. Going out a fair amount. There are new people and people I have not seen in a while coming back into my life. Lot's of social activities going on! Weekends are busy. Been hanging out with a cutie, lots of ambiguity. Dunno where it is going, if anywhere.
current mood:  rushed
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, August 25th, 2002
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9:58 pm - sleep sickness, craigslist...(long)
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I have had the tired sleepy sickness for over a week now. It's not pleasant. Ironically, I haven't been able to sleep well because of congestion, neighbor noise...last night there was an odd tramping about up and down stairs nextdoor and some arguing downstairs. So, I oversleep-can't get up and am out of it all day.
I go to the doctor on Wednesday morning. Today, I had the shivers, tired and achey...my neck pain got so bad I started crying and thought I was going to throw up. That sounds bad, doesn't it? Rather, it was a godsend because the tears unstuffed my nose and relieved some of the pressure in my head. Also, I must remember to take my BP meds which because I am so tired I been spacing on taking. Sadly, when I forget those for a week I can end up in the hospital.
On another front I am selling stuff on craigslist if anyone is interested take a look here:
http://www.mindspring.com/~win8/Craigslist/
On Craigslist so far I have found 2 out of 3 people flakey which is unfortunate. This guy was positive he wanted to purchase the bookcases and had me pack everything up so he could pick them up. He got to my place, looked at them and basically flaked. Even though he said they were really nice and perfect...2 minutes later he changed his mind. The creepy part about all this is he called to firm up the the time to look at the bookcases he digressed the conversation to other stuff. He wanted to know where to go hang out, talked about dating and how he wanted to date, etc. Made me feel like he was talking me up for purposes other than the bookcases. I wanted to sell the bookcases, but he creeped me out enough to leave a message for my friend Ben to come over around then.
I put a posting about vintage clothes on Craigslist and got email from a guy about his grandmother's vintage clothes. Then the email tone turned and he offered to massage me and attached a picture. To say that it was odd is an understatement. On the other hand it was the full moon on Thursday and all the lunatics seemed to converge on me :/
Flakey and creepy is not for me. Begone!
EBay on the other hand has mostly been a good experience with 3 out of 40 people being lame. I was not able to get all the images ready and copy written for putting another batch of stuff on EBay. I am selling some jadeite "Laurel" pattern tea cups, azurite "Charm" pattern tea cups and dessert bowl, 50's Luncheon plate and cup set and other assorted things.
I know I am gonna have to move. I just can't afford the rent here. I asked about a rent reduction and was told no, it wasn't appropriate. I hope I get the place at the paramount or a place in the East Bay if I get a job at UCB. I applied for two jobs at UCSF and one job at UCB last week along with a gig at Williams-Sonoma. Applying and not hearing back and applying, phone interview and or in person interview and not getting the job has been tough on me. It's been very discouraging and demoralizing even if it isn't personal.
With that I go to sleep!
8
current mood:  sick
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Friday, August 23rd, 2002
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11:11 am - If wishes were...
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I was playing this game where if I had the money to do so, I would give my friends tickets to a destination and accomodations for 4-5 days and the rest was up to them. Here are the destinations I picked for each person, if I didn't mention your name lemme know and I will come up with a destination for you.
Aneel: Venezuela and North Africa
Ben: London, England and Amsterdamn
Carli and Don: Morocco and Paris, France
Eva and James : Argentina and Cuba
Danfuzz: Bali
Gina: Hong Kong, Beijing, and down the Ya ngtze River, China
Howard: Japan
Kristen: Turkey and Alaska
Maggie and Mike: Australia
Melissa and Aaron: Niagra Falls, NY and Amsterdamn
Mo and Kelly: Provence, France
Murray: Czech Republic and France
Natira and Brandon: Tokoyo, Japan and Thailand
Pila r: Tahiti
Romi: Israel and Russia
Ross: Italy
Selene and Rene: Costa Rica and Greece
Simon: Ireland
Smartacus: Cuba
Tamara: California
Wanda and Ben: Las Vegas, NV and Hawaiii
current mood:  mischievous
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, August 19th, 2002
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4:12 pm - I think I have become a jamie oliver fan girl...
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I was enlightened about the "naked chef" on the food network this weekend. It's all Carli's fault! Oh, and I printed the risotto recipe you told me about.
current mood:  hyper
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, August 15th, 2002
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3:15 pm - Chairman Miaow on Rate My Kitten
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Tuesday, August 13th, 2002
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3:16 pm - the Day of Interviews...
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At the end of my housing interview, the interviewer had a joke question, "What is the Capital of Canada?" I channeled Tamara and said brightly, "Ottawa!" ...hee hee, okay maybe you had to be there. The guy did have a canadian flag on his desk. Apparently, his mum is Canadian.
Before the housing interview, I had a job interview...I went in about one job and got asked if I would like to apply for another job managing the department. So, I applied for the other job. Yes, this is a place I where I feel like I could work and would want to work. I haven't felt that in a while. I think the challenge here is that I don't have as much management experience as some of the other candidates for the job, but I do have in spades the organizational, documentation and project management skills other folks don't have as much of. Depends on the mix the company wants or is willing to take on. I think I would do well there and hope to get the chance to succeed.
After all that...Osento to chill out for a bit. I got to see a few ladies that I don't get to spend much time with irl. That was really nice...also my skin feels so soft and wonderful afterwards. I totally want to have a night of videos, face masks and other beauty regimens.
current mood:  accomplished
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, August 4th, 2002
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11:44 am - Sundays for Baking!
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mmmm Baking...I just put a flourless chocolate cake in the oven. Gonna deliver the cake to Smartacus shortly. I will also be making a fruit crisp-if anyone wants to come over for dessert tonight let me know. Also will be making lemon black pepper cookie dough to chill out and bake later this week.
I found out "Karmen Gei", featured at the Sundance Film Festival is in town at the Castro Theatre. It's a Sengalese adaptation of the Bizet Opera "Carmen with bisexuality and awesome traditional Sengalese Music. I want to wrangle some time to see it today or tomorrow if I can.
current mood:  productive
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(comment on this)
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Friday, August 2nd, 2002
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9:54 am - Things are getting odd...
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I get to work today. Passing my manager in the stairs she says to me "Get me a Raspberry Ice Tea" when you get a chance. It was incredibly odd...not if you are going down to the cafeteria will you please...I didn't really know how to respond to that. I told her uh sure, I have other stuff to do first. She just nodded.
Not sure how to deal with this if I do deal with it. I am going to be leaving at the end of the month. I am staying till the end of the month when my job ends because I need the money. On a good note, I am supposed to have a phone interview next week! Woot!
current mood:  weird
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, August 1st, 2002
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2:48 pm
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I am not really up for updating LJ...just incredibly bored at work and I can't leave. Looking at a 1-bedroom on 3rd and Mission on Monday. It's about 40% less expensive that what I pay now. I was thinking in a perfect world...I would live and work within a 15-20 minute walk from each other. I am wanting a stable work and living situation so I can focus my energy on other things.
I may have mentioned that I won a rather unusual auction. I will be meeting the person I won tonight for dinner.
...I bet you want details *smirk*
current mood:  bored
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, July 30th, 2002
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12:24 pm - my walk to catch the N to work in rhyme
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A woman in a yellow mercedes
turning the corner so fast
definitely was no lady
'cause I almost ended up in a cast
cross the street and up the hill
a silver mirage looking left and not right
shot out onto the driveway ready to kill
good thing I got good sight.
current mood:  silly
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(comment on this)
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Monday, July 29th, 2002
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10:37 am - cold, grey and kinda blah
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Sleepy and slow. I am nervous-need to talk to my landlord about a rent reduction. I had mailed a letter detailing the "blood everywhere" incident and at the end I requested a rent reduction. It is time for me to follow-up with him. He is in gonna get the lawyers involved to deal with the previous owners who never disclosed all this before he bought the building. The previous owners were stupid-I had offered to make an arrangement with them to move if they paid for it-if they had taken me up on my offer they would not be having to pay more now.
In a perfect world, I would get a hefty rent reduction (10% or more) and perhaps some other freebies. I am worried about cash flow coming up-got a bunch of stuff that I need to pay for including car stuff. I put it on a charge card and it now needs to be paid. Wondering what little miracle is gonna happen to float in some extra cash this month...maybe the things I am putting on sale will sell quickly.
current mood:  blah
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(comment on this)
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Friday, July 19th, 2002
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9:21 am - Blood everywhere
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Last night around 1:30-2:00 AM I hear screaming, shouting downstairs. There is the sound of bodies shoving each other and smashing against walls. I hear thuds. It goes on for half and hour. Freaked out I call 911. While on the phone with 911, I hear glass shatter and break.
The police come. Doorbells are rung. I get up and buzz them in the front gate. I hear noises. They ask the man downstairs to come out to the street. You can sense the apprehension and hear the back peddling in the man's voice as he explains to the police for a good half an hour.
I have a sleepless night. Wake up late, get ready and walk out the door. I am apalled and feel sick as I see the blood splattered door of the downstairs unit. At first I am not sure if I am seeing the blood, maybe it's something sticky like coca cola that got spilled. Then my vision pans down, left and up and I see splatters of blood on the steps of the stairs and along the wall. I negotiate my way down the stairs, squeamishly trying to avoid the blood spots. The iron gate in front has blood on it and I reach out to open the gate touching as briefly as possible. The gate shuts and I turn. The the left of the door there is a 8-10" diameter blood splotch with trails running down on the wall.
I am nauseauted. I don't think I can deal with the commute on MUNI. I turn around and go into the garage to get my car to drive to work. I call my landlord both at his work and landlord number to let him know about the situation. I ask if someone can immediately come out and clean up the blood. I hope this gets down before I get home later.
At work, people can tell there is something the matter. I talk to my manager and let her know that I need to leave early and why. She tells me to go and do what I need to do. My cow orker Jaime is so Goth that he is not naseauted by this. I am assured by him that he is the wrong person to think it is gross.
I take off in a bit. My friend kbk suggests that I do some retail therapy or something else in the afternoon. I concurr. I may go see a movie to try to change the imagery that is going thru my head. If there is a good light hearted movie suggestion-let me know.
current mood:  distressed
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, July 17th, 2002
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11:49 am - Purple Surgical Gloves!
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Whee! They exist for those who cannot wear latex. I have found a new fondness for the colors in the lavender, periwinkle blue, amethyst, purple spectrum.
What's your favorite color as of late?
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, July 16th, 2002
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12:00 pm - news on the job front
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Got the word from my manager that my position is ending around the end of the month. My position isn't going away, just someone with more senority's job has become obselete and they are gonna take my job. Bumping me off the log so to speak. I am getting bumped off a month earlier than anticipated.
I am a bit numb, apprehensive and shut down at the moment. Time to get all the allergy meds and blood pressure meds refilled. This Wednesday I am going out to Bo Bay Mon, it will be the last time for dinner till I get the whole work/money thing stabilized. I am worried that I will not find another job out there. I don't have a partner or someone to fall back on-so it is awful scary.
I am gonna begin madly applying for jobs again this week; talk to my old temp agency and some recruiters. In my perfect world: I will hear back from the one job I have interviewed for and they will hire me to begin at the end of July. I would like that muchly. Please be sending me your positive vibes on the money/job front! TIA.
On another note, I went to a BM work day this weekend. I am probably not gonna be able to go to BM because of the work/money/timing thing. I say probably because well I need a *petite* miracle to make it happen and I have had my share of *petite* and *grande* miracles in my life. Would not be alive otherwise.
Back to BM-the group that showed up and did work this weekend are all solid choice people. I like it that my life has people who I can count on, like and care about in it. There was a time when when my life didn't have people that I could count on or liked in it. I want to acknowledge and my life has changed for the better. Try to focus on the positive and not let this work/money fear get me down/
current mood:  pensive
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, July 13th, 2002
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11:32 am - Where is my Mind?
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| Where is my Mind? | You're smart, shy, and often nonsensical. You have dreams of being famous, and you're quirky enough that you just might pull them off. Some would call you a genius, others would call you insane, but in reality you're pretty well-adjusted. Take a vacation once in a while- it'll help take your mind off of your troubles. |
Which Pixies song are you?
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current mood:  chipper
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(comment on this)
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Friday, July 12th, 2002
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9:53 am - Adendum to yesterday
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What I find disturbing is the amount of drama there is in getting attention. The problem is sometimes *I* want to be noticed and get attention, but I want none of the drama. So, as a consequence I get neither.
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, July 11th, 2002
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5:59 pm - attention
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I find it disturbing how I want attention at times. It's only when I perceive myself not getting the kind of attention I want. Usually triggered by someone else getting the kind of attention I think I want.
I find myself judging negatively other folks who deal with it by *splat* coming out and soliciting attention. There is a desperate edge to behaving that way that makes me cringe. Does that mean that I am:
1) Repressed and uptight
2) Adherring to programming in regards to breeding and good manners
3) Seriously needing to let my hair down.
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(comment on this)
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Monday, July 8th, 2002
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10:53 am - Food Poisoning
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Tuesday, July 2nd, 2002
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4:52 pm - tomorrow...
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I plan to go to this. I am taking the day off so I can drive up to sacramento with family. I hope the traffic will be passable. Now, I go home and whip up some chocolate meringue kisses!
current mood:  bouncy
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(comment on this)
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pvc's journal
cranky